Twelfth Post

I dreamt that I went back to Singapore. Unfortunately, I was mad at my mom because she changed Thai baht for me at a lousy rate......
I also dreamt that I lost some of my teeth. Geez, you know those dreams, right? You spent time fixing your teeth and then they're damaged because maybe someone punched you or because of some accident. That's just permanent disfigurement and a load of pain to restore what was lost.

I swiped someone on Tinder more than a year ago and I just got to meet him when he visited Bangkok! ^^
It's just marvelous how someone can have such good genes. His face was just FLAWLESS.
We had Chu Chocolate Bar and Restaurant near Chong Nonsi BTS station... and then we went to JJ Green with another friend of his, Dexter.

Alas, the memories of Max and Sphinx came flooding back.

It was raining the day we went to Chatuchak. We had wanted to visit the Weekend Market but it was pouring, and we went in the late afternoon, so we settled for JJ Green which was a night market near the Weekend Market. In our time there, we had some nice food which the three of us shared:

I bought some yum mama (instant noodles cooked in a sweet-sour-spicy style) while Max bought this fried ice-cream


Max also bought some lego to build two Pokémon. We spent the morning fixing it amidst strewn pubic hair on the floor LOL


Alas, it was the Sunday Max had to leave to spend time with his father. I cooked some scrambled eggs for him, P'Tew and Sphinx


I couldn't believe it. Max was the first Singaporean friend to visit me after I've touched down in Bangkok. I spent so much time using Singlish with him that he invoked in me my Singaporean spirit, and now that he had to leave me alone dangling.................................. it was too much to bear. Not to mention how Sphinx acted kind of like my actions were unappreciated.
I just broke down and cried.
I couldn't stop...... why? Why did you have to leave me?
Why must I be alone again?
...... I guess that's the price one pays for studying abroad.
I sobbed and tried to breathe while Sphinx sat and comforted me. I didn't reveal, though, that he was part of the reason why I was tearing.

........................... I'm good at confronting people for the wrongs they've done, but not when it deals with my emotions. Hais

Anyway, Sphinx accompanied me until the Monday to take care of me and spend time with me. I was lucky to not be alone. Alas...... he had to leave too, eventually.

While I'm on the topic of Max's visit to Bangkok before his patriotic incarceration national obligations, here are some pictures taken from the album by Sphinx and me while Max was here:

Penne with pesto at Chu

Sphinx took this photo. What I was doing was actually hiding my sadness because I felt hurt by the lack of appreciation. Perhaps it looked nice, nonetheless.


We went to the Bangkok Art and Culture Centre one day. I had a bag along which I could not bring into the exhibition area, so I told Sphinx and Max to go on ahead while I sat outside. Sphinx very kindly took pictures and sent them to me so that I could partake in the viewing of the exhibitions. It was a verryyy, verrrrryyyyyyy nice gesture =]


One night, we were all at Silom (I think after coming back from JJ Green). Max stopped along the pavement to buy some greeting cards with foldings. Guess who took this picture? ;)

Luckily for us who had no idea what to do next, we stumbled upon this very beautiful cat cafe called Cat Up Café [ which has unfortunately closed down last November ;( ]


Waffles as the entry fee. It was quite affordable and also delicious ^^


Sphinx with a kitty cat

Aww, the cat fell asleep in his lap ^^


Guess who snapped this peekchure? ;) featuring Max's พุง







Yea. That's about it. It was nice while it lasted......

Samuel

Labels: 2018, dreams, iwnwil, outing, sad, thailand

Fourth Post

Hello! A lot of things happened in the past few weeks......

Basically, I went out with my junior (henceforth affectionately known as "my little brother") three times in the past few weeks during the weekends :) yes, he's the one mentioned in my First Post

25th March 2017, Saturday
I met mlb on the train as we went to Somerset station ;) we were dining at a quaint, quiet, little restaurant called Arteastiq at Mandarin Gallery at 10 AM. LOL
Wow, I waking up so early on a Saturday morning? The things I'd do for mlb ;)
The decor of the restaurant was very artsy, and we took our time selecting what dishes to share. Luckily mlb had eatigo, a reservation application that gave us a 50% off the bill ;)


Artsy shirt *-* even the wet napkins needed to adhere to the artistry of rotational symmetry ;)

Allegory of Love - Chicken & Waffles | Symphony from The East - Salted Egg Yolk Capellini
See how we smart Hwa Chong kias decided to rotate the table so that we could share food more comfortably ;) NOT TO MENTION GOLDEN CUTLERY
ATASITY: IT'S OVER 9000

This is how you attempt to eat a cut of waffles with chicken in one mouth :P side effects include 45 likes on Instagram

The prawn on top smiles as its purpose has been served -- to us ;)

After brunch which was at around 11.30 am (I footed the bill, by the way), the both of us continued exploring one of the embodiments of atasity which was Mandarin Gallery, then we decided to walk towards Shaw Tower :) but on the way at Bugis, we walked past innisfree...... I hesitated to enter the shop, but at mlb's behest, we ended up inside. I looked at the samples on display and after reading their descriptions, I tried the White Tone Eye Serum..............................

Selfie~~~~~ at 1.02 pm
One of the staff came up to me to ask if I needed help, so I asked if they have anything for dark eye circles. She pointed me to this product:

Win liao lor. Just look at its name.
JEJU LAVA SEAWATER EYE SERUM. $46 FOR 20 ML?!!!!!?
Then we left the store HAHAHAHAHA

We continued on our way to Shaw Tower where I introduced mlb to Tom's Palette, an ice-cream shop that sells flavourful ice-cream sure to please people's palettes ;) 1.53 pm
Remember, it's PALETTE, not PLACE, nor PLATE... ;)

Blueberry Cheesecake on the left, Granny's Favourite on the right, artsy didi in the back, shuai ge not in sight ;)

After ice-cream, we wanted to get to MBS but it was raining :( so didi lent me his cap while he used his umbrella :P
at 1.53 pm
DON'T ASK ME WHY SAME POSE IN ALL THREE PICTURES KTHXBYE looking well-fed too LOL

We crossed the overhead bridge to Suntec City, trudged the underground towards Millenia Walk and then braved the rain under an umbrella towards MBS.

I THOUGHT THE DOUBLE HELIX BRIDGE WAS FULLY SHELTERED :@
In the end, our shoes were soaked in Heaven's tears xD but I think the shared experience was what was mushy instead of our feet x)

I brought didi to..................................... look at MBS's iconic ceiling and the sight below it.
The sight of the belly of the beast.
The sight of the CA$HINO :D
I have brought many people to look at the casino's interior before, but this time I thought it would be good to get him to shut his eyes as I led him to the forefront of ledge. I guess that didn't build up as much anticipation as I had expected :\

We hanged about at the observation level as I told didi about my past, specifically my past relationships. Usually I don't like talking about my shameful, failed past relationships, but since he asked and because I liked him, I thought it was okay. Oh my, he knows so much now ;)

Afterwards, we chanced upon the exhibition that was currently held at the convention hall at MBS O.O

We spent a good 40 minutes or so browsing the coins and notes of the world's currencies on display... I had to whisper words of wisdom to dissuade him from becoming an impulsive buyer LOL
I myself bought two Starbucks cards at $1 each :P but one can only be used in USA and the other in Germany. I liked how the cards had gloss and also the German sentences on the card......

Didi and I left MBS and walked towards Tanjong Pagar since he had a dinner appointment with his family there at around 5.30 pm. I led him along the path from MBS towards Marina Bay Residences. He couldn't believe that the behemoth of a building was actually a condominium LOL
We cut across the tall towers and decided to have a short bite at Lau Pa Sat since he has a black hole stomach WHICH HE CONVENIENTLY PASSED ON TO ME :@ nowadays when I eat, I feel even hungrier LOL. Sighhhhhhh


Didi paid for this injeolmi bingsu :) he paid for Tom's Palette too, by the way, since korkor already paid for the $25.05 brunch ;)
The bingsu didn't taste that nice, though :s but the portion was beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeg ;)

We continued on our way to Tanjong Pagar by foot :) I'm so impressed with my map sense, you know? One look at the map and I can lead you to your destination ;) which should have been my arms ;__;
Well, we reached Tanjong Pajar, embraced and parted ways :)


The time was 5.30+ pm, the weather still rainy, and I randomly walked about Tanjong Pagar, somehow ending up near Maxwell Food Centre......
I decided to look up Wut because I had plans for the night, and lucky for me, he was at Clarke Quay eating bak kut teh with some Thai friends of his :P
His friends were named Bible and Khem O.O
BIBLEEEEEE!!!!! @@

I brought them around Clarke Quay like the tour guide that I was, and somehow we ended up near Victoria Concert Hall o.o there was a jazz festival going on with some musical performances, and I brought them to have ice-cream too :P you know those ice-cream vendors that station themselves outside primary schools during school dismissal? xD
Luckily for us, they were charging only $1 a piece of ice-cream, unlike $1.20 or $1.50 a piece elsewhere in Singapore :@
I told them too that I was here before for a performance by my high school's Chinese drama club :P on Ong Teng Cheong, I guess. Or was it Tan Kah Kee.................... I THINK IT WAS TAN KAH KEE BECAUSE I REMEMBER TUSTIN JEH ACTING IN IT.



The emcee of the jazz festival welcomed the audience to enter The Arts House at The Old Parliament to participate in some activities, so I led the Three Thais inside to view the exhibitions


Psychedelic
It's like HUNDREDS OF RIPPED PAGES from a storybook HIGHLIGHTED AWAY FOR SOME PARTS. How painstaking it must have been!
There was also an exhibition of Tinder chats...... ughs, just sick shit for some of them LOL

Afterwards, I brought them upstairs to check out what there was, and we entered a room with some art supplies :P
I decided to draw portraits of them because there was nothing else better to do LOL

Behold: my arteastiq flair!

Portraits of Wut, Khem and Bible, signed by yours truly :)

Afterwards, I thought of bringing them to have dinner or supper, so I led them to Lau Pa Sat where I was hours ago ;)


I'M SO ENVIOUS OF THEIR GOLDEN KOPITIAM CARDS LAH. IT'S LIKE 20% DISCOUNT :(
Unfortunately, they weren't hungry, and the char kway teow stall was closed already :( I had intended to head to the Bar along the Road later to catch up with CC, but CC said he wasn't going :( my mind started to wander and my mental faculties quivered, so I decided to send them off first :) I think we parted at Downtown station.

I then trudged towards Maxwell, asking people if they wanted to go there with me..........................................
Well, with a dying phone and also my fear of going there alone, I settled for a quick dinner instead.

A bowl of porridge with century egg to satiate my belly ;)
Fml, though, because I missed the last bus home and had to take some stupid bus to Clarke Quay, then I boarded Night Rider home. Omg, I was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo tired on the bus that I almost missed my stop :( not to mention I had to dig for $4.50 in coins to pay for the fare, because my EZ-Link card was short by a few ten cents :(

Anyhow, I reached home, slept............ and I woke up to some donuts my mommie bought :)

Chewy Junior :) its logo kinda exudes innocence. Something I wish I had as I was growing up...... but its logo and the donuts were just filled with my mother's love for me :) even though I'm a piece-of-shit son x(

Alright, so that's my day that day :) on the twenty-fifth (and -eighth) of March, two thousand and seventeen.

Samuel

[3.46 am] P.S. Look at the number of steps I took in the week HAHA. My poor feet T.T

Labels: 2017, iwnwil, MBS, meetup, mlb

First post

Hello! I privated my blog for one and a half months because for some stewpeed reason, I kept on getting hits from those shady websites. Hope none of that bullsheet happens again.

Neeway, welcome :) if you're interested in my older blog (the one that lasted from late 2008 until January 2017... a whopping eight years+ O:), you can visit it at http://spikedog123-archives.blogspot.sg/ :)

I really like to blog. It lets me practise my writing skeelz and also pen down my thoughts on things.


Soooooooooooooooooooo, how about an update? I don't really like talking about my plans for the future because failure, rejection and judgment suck. But this blog is a safe space, so please be kind when I talk about such sensitive things that involve shame.

Yea, so, I am applying to two Thai universities this time at an attempt to do a Master of Arts in Linguistics -- Chulalongkorn University and Mahidol University, the top two universities in Thailand. Hopefully I can be successfully admitted! ^^ so that I can stop being a parasite

Lately, I've been I've been losing sleep very affected emotionally. Ferstlee, I met up with a Chemisery junior from NUS just three days ago. We hanged out from noon until the evening when we went to Plaza Singapura to have a meal with his "friend".

Well. I can't help but fan my envy. I mean, having an older male figure who can take care of you...... After dinner, they wanted to spend time alone while I was wishing that I could still tag along. I need to applaud the "friend" for being so polite and indirect in telling me to leave. Needless to say, the sudden forced expulsion also riled up my inner hurt. I loitered around Dhoby Ghaut for ten minutes, trying to find a remedy for my old-found solitude. I broke another principle which was never to use a public, traceable picture. Yet, a cure wasn't found.

My emotions welled up inside me as I commuted home. My thoughts turned to another junior whom I had tried to chat with for many, many days. I admitted my wishes to get to know him more, while prodded by the fresh emotional wounds, that night by LINE voice message because I thought conveying certain messages by text was a sign of weakness. Yet, ............

He then realised that he did neglect me for two weeks, during which I reaaaaaallllllllyyyyy wanted to chat with him, for which he apologised.
But it was too late.
The once-familiar emotional siege resurfaced.
The knifes of hurt stabbed me brutally over and again, my battered heart bleeding with sharp stings.
I had to reawaken my emotional masochist. I could not take such emotional butchering without some kind of analgesic reprieve.
The pain, it was so intense................................

I woke up the next day realising I had cried myself to sleep. My mood was just ~.~
I received messages of attempted comforting, but I really didn't feel like accepting them.

I changed the filter and the way I chatted. No more emoticons, no more question marks behind questions.
I couldn't really care less anymore. That's what depression does to you

Fortuitously, one particular individual responded cheerfully amid the dread and dreary. I was wondering why he was so open to sending me selfies. I mean, hasn't he heard of scammers and malicious people?

I jokingly asked if he wanted some company, and he responded positively with the added bait of strawberry milk.
Well, he looked like a decent chap, so I decided to meet him hours later at Stadium station.
My goodness.
He looked different.
I couldn't really hold it in.
He looked better than in his pictures.

And he was nice, jovial, chatty, funny.
What a smile.
even thinking about it now just...............
It was supposed to be an Old Chang Kee smash-and-grab but he suggested we have Poulét. Well, sure, despite my thinning cash reserves.
It was a really nice dinner talking about our personal lives. Sooooooooooooooooooooooooo cuteeeeeeeeeeeee lahhhhhhhhhhhh omygerrrrrrrrrrddddddddles

After dinner, we had some bubbley bubble tea matching our bubbly burstonalities (silent 't') and we walked somewhere where we watched a few episodes of 'Allo 'Allo! together. As the story developed in the first four episodes, so did our mutual attraction.
It's the arm wraps, the tilted heads, and calling of the hearts to be together.

.................................................................................................................................................

These were the happiest moments of the year.
Oh, why...... whyever were you so kind towards me? In the time of my lowest spirits, you managed to turn all that around.
I will never forget your kindness towards me. The irony is that I am the older one, the one expected to be the caregiver. Instead, I was the noob.

I know the pain of your coming out. I myself had suffered, and I recognise all that depressing fuckshit you had to undergo.
I also acknowledge your coming out of your way to lead me to McDonald's last night. I needed your guidance.
The things you were willing to do for me...... I am really grateful.
You charm supersedes your looks. Your way of thinking, your values, your generosity of affection.
I will never forget them.


One question: is it a sign of weakness for men to cry?

Samuel

Labels: 2017, iwnwil, sad