Third Post

Yesterday (21 March 2017) was a really good day for me! :D I managed to meet three new people. Well... my favourite one was the second one I met :P

Anyway, here was my day:

L
At around 12+ pm, I went to Ci Yuan CC to meet L for lunch. We decided to have prawn noodles at some stall. The stall had two versions -- the $4/5 one and the $2.80 one. The former had prawns the size of the normal big prawns you see at buffets; the latter had prawns the size of those you see in laksa.

What do you call a prawn without legs? Lame siaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa LOLOL

After lunch, we decided (or I decided) to have chendol, but sadly the stall was closed. So, L suggested we get Gong Cha at Hougang 1. Well... sheet, I did not bring out my NTUC card for the 5% discount :@
I ordered the Milk Tea with 0% sugar and less ice because I might just explode with diabetes if I keep on amplifying mah cuteness ;) jkjk
We then went to McDonald's (not "Mac" and with an apostrophe s) to sit and talk. Shhhh.
We talked about some stuff inspired from my viewing of his Instagram posts. We talked until around 2+ when I had to go back home to change because I was going to meet someone else ^_^


M Ng (SAME SURNAME AGAIN?!!?) you can actually guess the name of this chap LOL
I "rushed" to Bedok because I was meeting M, and we were going to go to East Coast Park to walkkkkkkkk all the way to MBS :)
I reached Bedok Bus Interchange at around 4 pm, and we finally met each other :) We boarded 196 at Berth B5 and on we went to Marine Terrace ^^
On the bus, we talked about his studies. He studied Psychology at a polytechnic, and he seemed like a high-achiever. Actually, his demeanour, appearance and accent really reminded me of Brandon. The similarity was really almost-uncanny.

We alighted and then walked to East Coast Park :) at first, I led him to the newly-revamped McDonald's and gave him a tour guide-esque introduction to the place. It was a really nice two minutes just telling him about the place :)
Towards the west we walked and we stopped at the second breakwater we encountered. We sat there against the sea breeze for a good 30 minutes or so, talking about things. I don't quite remember what we talked about, though. Oh yea, perhaps I mentioned to him my fascination of luxury and nice houses :) My hobby of sauntering around Serangoon Gardens just admiring the atasity and imagining that I was a resident.
Soon, raindrops pelted our physical vessels and we decided to continue on our way WHEN WE SAW THIS AMAZING SIGHT OMYGODDDDDDDD

ACTUAL CELEBRITIES AT EAST COAST PARK, RESPIRING AND BEING CORPOREAL IN FRONT OF MY COMMONER EYES
THERE WAS HENRY THIA, the-guy-with-grey-hair-who-was-a-really-good-actor and some actress whose name I don't know LOL.
Omygoddddd, I was temporarily fanboying LMAO
I had to calm myself down LOLOL

Anyway, we continued on our way as I made stewpeed puns and also talked nonsense. Throughout the journey so far, he hadn't minded the walk :)
He also said that it's a good change of pace since he has been a busy person with his dance practice and all.
I had thought the path wouldn't have been THAAAAAAAAT long, but, boy, was I MISTAKEN.
We crossed this really long and wide bridge and continued walking. It started to drizzle.
Not long after, it started to POUR HAHAHA
Oh my God, it was really fun! HAHAHAHA OMG I CAN'T
Our shoes became ponds while we squish-squashed our way on. Luckily for him, he mentioned that he did want to wash that bag of his anyway. LOL
We continued walking in the pouring rain and it occurred to me that the path we were on didn't quite resemble the route I had taken to Gardens by the Bay before. Oh sheet.

As MBS was in sight and time was running out (it was around 6 pm already, and we had our own appointments in the evening), we decided not to take the route towards Gardens by the Bay by the dam because it seemed really far away, so we decided to turn right at a T-junction. The downpour had stopped there and as we walked under the extremely tall expressway, M made a sarcastic remark like "wowwwww, I wonder why these people (under the bridge) are not wet!" LOL. Hmmmm, I wonder why myself ;)
But as we walked and walked along the river, NOT A BRIDGE WAS IN SIGHT. AND TIME WAS RUNNING OUT.
And do you know what the best part was?

IT STARTED TO RAIN CATS AND DOGS AGAIN

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. We submitted to our fate that we had to just walk a long way to the nearest MRT station under this really natural weather occurrence and just walked LOL.
A maid and her dog were also walking along the river as part of their walk, and even the dog had its own poncho ;___;
I realised that the nearest MRT station was actually Stadium station where I had gone one week ago. I saw the sign of Tanjong Rhu, and some thoughts just surfaced in my mind.
The rain was really, really heavy and M suddenly exclaimed "UGH, TITS" HAHAHAHA. It was like a sudden outburst of joy of experiencing something like this :')
We continued walking and I raised the topic of his past relationship experiences. I also shared about my experience of one week ago, giving him another tour guide-esque description of what went down with the chap in my First Post since we were literally at the bridge between Singapore Sports Hub and Tanjong Rhu Road.
We eventually reached Stadium station and then he went to change out of his drenched shirt at the MRT station's toilet while I looked at myself in the mirror. DRENCHED SIAAAAAAA

We took the train from Stadium to Promenade and we bade farewell at the escalator, complete with a handshake :) never to see each other again, though. Perhaps I shouldn't have talked about First Post person :\

On the way to Bedok


Adventure Cove: East Coast Park edition


My attempt at aquatic calligraphy. Kinda looked like a balloon ghost LOL

In summary, we walked from East Coast Park's McDonald's to Stadium station :)

Wut (pronounced as "wood")
I made my way to Dhoby Ghaut immediately to meet the third person on my agenda :) Wut is a Thai medical student who's in Singapore for a month to observe medical practices.

We walked around Plaza Singapura at first, then I suggested that we go towards Bugis, because I wanted to get something at Cotton On at Suntec City, actually :P
As we walked from Plaza Singapura, we passed by The Cathay, SOTA, Lasalle, Sim Lim Square and Bugis Street and we reached Bugis+ :) the whole way, I was giving him a tour guide-esque introduction and descriptions of those landmarks to this tourist. I brought him up to the highest level of Bugis+ to enjoy the slight heavenly breeze before we descended back to have Aston's :)


My Hickory BBQ Chicken with pasta salad and baked potato ^^ at the really affordable price of $39.60 divided by 4

We talked about stuff including his change in view of euthanasia. He asked if euthanasia was a more merciful decision for someone who was paralysed from the neck down, unable to speak a word, lying in the hospital bed for decades...... Is there ever anymore meaning in life for these people? Well...... hearing about such things makes me feel really sian, because it's gloomy... Personally, I still uphold the view that life is sacrosanct, though. The power of God can heal people for sure!

After dinner, I felt thirsty and so we went to Gong Cha, but it was already closed :( so we just made our way towards Suntec City through Shaw Leisure :) again, throughout the journey I was being a tour guide. I can really be a tour guide LOL
He showed me a picture of a handsome Thai.
I'm like TMD WHY THE THAIS ALL LOOK SO SHUAI DE. Not like in Singapore :@ where the number is far and few :(

After buying some footwear (four pairs LOL), we walked towards MBS :) apparently, there's some iLight event that's going on. I took some pictures of the inflatable park :) the staff said that it's for the young and the young at heart LOL


Some cute cones :)


A closeup

It's interesting how all these were set up on the Floating Platform, which means that no POP can happen here until after the exhibition ends on 26 March, and the amount of energy required to sustain the inflation puzzles me.

You know, the view at night of the promenade is reallllllly gorgeous. Oh, how I wish that I could have brought a date here...... alas, fate deals a cruel hand.

We continued sauntering slowly towards the Merlion when Wut shared about how sad 2016 was to him. His beloved aunty had succumbed to breast cancer due to a relapse, making the cancer cells spread to every part of her body......
I also shared with him about Angie, my friend who suffered from cervical cancer... A really pretty woman whose chance of having a child to hold was robbed away by the cruelty of genetic mutations. Life...... really can be cruel sometimes.

We proceeded to the Merlion near Fullerton Hotel and we took some selfies using his camera :) for some reason, his camera really sucked LOL
You know how there are some "pudding cameras" that beautify you? His was like the exact opposite LOL
It's like your facial contours are erased and you look like sheet LOL but it's okay :x

Interestingly, I saw no tourists doing the mouth-opening thing to take a picture of themselves as the Merlion vomits into their oral orifices as we commonly see in tourist shots.

We continued walking and then crossed the road near Downtown station :) we bought some drinks at the 7-eleven there where there were two Japanese men with flawless skin and handsome faces LMAO.

We walked to Raffles City station and then boarded the train northward. He alighted at Somerset while I went to Ang Mo Kio to take a bus home.

Initially I had intended to meet someone else for dinner. This guy said over Tinder that he was interested in me and shared about how he has "matured" and "learned" after experiencing a bad breakup over Tinder. When he asked about my day about M and asked if it were romantic walking in the rain together, I said yes. What happened next was my application crashed... because he unmatched me LMAO.
I had recalled this idiot pua this stunt at me in the past before. Well, well, so much for maturity.


YEA, so this was my 21 March 2017 :)

Samuel

Labels: 2017, eastcoastpark, meetup

Second Post

Hello, it's me again.

So, the usually endeavouring me decided to write a letter to deliver to the person mentioned in the First Post. Where it would strike someone as a drastic act that but stemmed from the deepest sincerity, my efforts just struck a steel wall. A steel wall of heartlessness. Of all the qualities I looked out for in somebody -- the looks, the brains and the heart -- he had shown that he was only conditionally kind to people who have not crossed him. That is fake compassion. That is just being a Lawrence Kyle Ng (oh my, the same surname).

Well, I guess it's a case of a self-fulfilling prophecy fanatic.

Despite my drunken and physically, mentally disabled state last night (well, 11 pm+ 18 March to 1.30 am 19 March) and pleas for some simple assistance which was fetching me some plain water (because I already vomited the fuck out of my stomach until what was left were gagging convulsions), he had to brush it all aside as "drama" (fuck you) and fall back on his principle of "I'm not gunna entertain you". We're talking about a REAL human being in DIRE need here, where the only person he knew at the club or in that area was you, and you had the inhumanity to just leave him for dead. Not a single sight of human compassion nor dignity.

The audacity to incessantly cast upon me the shadow of the loser of your past and the arrogance to think that all my efforts were based on the sole purpose to get your romantic attention. Fuck off, no one is going to want to date a monster, and neither would I.

I thought wrongly of you. You are not a nice person after all. You're also the king of making predictable and the stupidest assumptions, not to mention full of contradictions yourself, but I was just toooooooooooo nice not to raise them up. Trust me, I was.
I will not allow such a heartless, inhumane monster to be friends with me. I hope you are proud of that.

It's not the first time I've seen the likes of you. All of you need to be kinder.
Whoever knew that monsters could also put on angels' robes.

Just to qualify something, I was merely acting as a courier for a letter. I have delivered letters to some other people before right to their doorsteps, so I find this time's act nothing strange. ^_^

In summary: fucking worst experience getting drunk. I am never touching alcohol again.
And thanks to the guy who bought me some water from 7-eleven and the guy who hailed and paid for my Grab taxi ride back home for saving me. I am really touched and grateful for your help despite my penniless state. x)
Thank you also, jace didi, for accompanying me on LINE :)

Samuel

Labels: 2017, disappointment, thanks

First post

Hello! I privated my blog for one and a half months because for some stewpeed reason, I kept on getting hits from those shady websites. Hope none of that bullsheet happens again.

Neeway, welcome :) if you're interested in my older blog (the one that lasted from late 2008 until January 2017... a whopping eight years+ O:), you can visit it at http://spikedog123-archives.blogspot.sg/ :)

I really like to blog. It lets me practise my writing skeelz and also pen down my thoughts on things.


Soooooooooooooooooooo, how about an update? I don't really like talking about my plans for the future because failure, rejection and judgment suck. But this blog is a safe space, so please be kind when I talk about such sensitive things that involve shame.

Yea, so, I am applying to two Thai universities this time at an attempt to do a Master of Arts in Linguistics -- Chulalongkorn University and Mahidol University, the top two universities in Thailand. Hopefully I can be successfully admitted! ^^ so that I can stop being a parasite

Lately, I've been I've been losing sleep very affected emotionally. Ferstlee, I met up with a Chemisery junior from NUS just three days ago. We hanged out from noon until the evening when we went to Plaza Singapura to have a meal with his "friend".

Well. I can't help but fan my envy. I mean, having an older male figure who can take care of you...... After dinner, they wanted to spend time alone while I was wishing that I could still tag along. I need to applaud the "friend" for being so polite and indirect in telling me to leave. Needless to say, the sudden forced expulsion also riled up my inner hurt. I loitered around Dhoby Ghaut for ten minutes, trying to find a remedy for my old-found solitude. I broke another principle which was never to use a public, traceable picture. Yet, a cure wasn't found.

My emotions welled up inside me as I commuted home. My thoughts turned to another junior whom I had tried to chat with for many, many days. I admitted my wishes to get to know him more, while prodded by the fresh emotional wounds, that night by LINE voice message because I thought conveying certain messages by text was a sign of weakness. Yet, ............

He then realised that he did neglect me for two weeks, during which I reaaaaaallllllllyyyyy wanted to chat with him, for which he apologised.
But it was too late.
The once-familiar emotional siege resurfaced.
The knifes of hurt stabbed me brutally over and again, my battered heart bleeding with sharp stings.
I had to reawaken my emotional masochist. I could not take such emotional butchering without some kind of analgesic reprieve.
The pain, it was so intense................................

I woke up the next day realising I had cried myself to sleep. My mood was just ~.~
I received messages of attempted comforting, but I really didn't feel like accepting them.

I changed the filter and the way I chatted. No more emoticons, no more question marks behind questions.
I couldn't really care less anymore. That's what depression does to you

Fortuitously, one particular individual responded cheerfully amid the dread and dreary. I was wondering why he was so open to sending me selfies. I mean, hasn't he heard of scammers and malicious people?

I jokingly asked if he wanted some company, and he responded positively with the added bait of strawberry milk.
Well, he looked like a decent chap, so I decided to meet him hours later at Stadium station.
My goodness.
He looked different.
I couldn't really hold it in.
He looked better than in his pictures.

And he was nice, jovial, chatty, funny.
What a smile.
even thinking about it now just...............
It was supposed to be an Old Chang Kee smash-and-grab but he suggested we have Poulét. Well, sure, despite my thinning cash reserves.
It was a really nice dinner talking about our personal lives. Sooooooooooooooooooooooooo cuteeeeeeeeeeeee lahhhhhhhhhhhh omygerrrrrrrrrrddddddddles

After dinner, we had some bubbley bubble tea matching our bubbly burstonalities (silent 't') and we walked somewhere where we watched a few episodes of 'Allo 'Allo! together. As the story developed in the first four episodes, so did our mutual attraction.
It's the arm wraps, the tilted heads, and calling of the hearts to be together.

.................................................................................................................................................

These were the happiest moments of the year.
Oh, why...... whyever were you so kind towards me? In the time of my lowest spirits, you managed to turn all that around.
I will never forget your kindness towards me. The irony is that I am the older one, the one expected to be the caregiver. Instead, I was the noob.

I know the pain of your coming out. I myself had suffered, and I recognise all that depressing fuckshit you had to undergo.
I also acknowledge your coming out of your way to lead me to McDonald's last night. I needed your guidance.
The things you were willing to do for me...... I am really grateful.
You charm supersedes your looks. Your way of thinking, your values, your generosity of affection.
I will never forget them.


One question: is it a sign of weakness for men to cry?

Samuel

Labels: 2017, iwnwil, sad